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LordDeathRay

aka Parker

1,398 Edits since joining this wiki
November 3, 2008
  • I live in Pennsylvania
  • I was born on February 11
  • My occupation is Martial Artist
  • I am male
Talk archives: 1

Rejected GAN Edit

Hey LDR, as you can see here, your good article nomination was rejected. I just wanted to make sure you knew that this doesn't mean you can never nominate it again. Like I said in my rejection vote, don’t be discouraged! Keep at it, seek help from other users, visit the Writing Center, and keep working towards improvement and one day you can definitely get this to good article status! The entire community is here to help you. That includes me. I'll help you out in whatever way I can if you'd like me to. =) - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 19:11, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

  • To get an idea for what makes the character a Mary Sue, the best person to talk to would actually be Solus. I think she dug deeper into that when reading the article than I did, and she'd be able to explain it better than I could anyway. - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 20:33, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well I would say that, in its current form, the easiest thing to start with would be cleaning up the grammar. That said, if your eventual goal is to get this to good article status, then you'll probably have to end up rewriting a good portion of the character to get rid of the Mary Sue elements. Because of that, any grammar errors you fix now might just end up being rewritten, so I think my suggestion for what to do now would be to reach out to Solus and ask her about those Mary Sue elements. Once you hear what she has to say, you'll have to decide whether you like the character as it is or if you want to make changes based on the things she says. Then after that, we can work on whatever grammar errors are present in your rewrites. - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 20:40, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

  • You can ask him if you want, but Solus has already read the article, and she told me she thought there were Mary Sue elements before I even read it, so she already knows what issues are there. Ataru will most likely help you if you ask, but just keep in mind that it may take him a little while to respond. - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 20:44, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, LDR! I got your message! I'll be glad to answer your question - unfortunately, I'm really busy today and tomorrow and won't be on much, so I'll respond on Monday. I'm sorry! It can't be helped. Please be patient with me. :) -Solus (Bird of Prey) 22:40, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

On Mary Sues Edit

Okay, okay, Hi! :D Now! Ahhhhhhhhhh I believe I've been assigned to tell you what a Mary Sue is, and if you have any questions about specifically what you should do to change stuff you can just ask me later, but just so you know what it is and stuff, here's the shortish version.

The definition of a Mary Sue is not universal, people generally have their own ideas what they are, but usually in a kind of umbrella term, Mary Sues are a black hole. They bend reality to suit themselves. The rules of the universe they live in bend so that they may be "awesome" quote unquote. Basically, how a Mary Sue is created is...actually quite innocuous and can be very hard to spot early on sometimes. Basically, you have an idea for this character, right? And he's, like, cool and stuff. You really want him to be cool and you really want other people to think he's cool. So you make him do cool stuff and go to cool places. Now, disclaimer right this instant - cool characters are not bad. I'm getting as to why they can become bad. Okay? I'm getting there. Don't rush me.

The problem comes when making someone so "cool" they make them...bland. They can get away with anything because they're so "cool." They can do anything because they're so "cool." They can never be beaten because, well, he's just so "cool." They are the best at everything because they're just so "cool." People always listen to them or get redeemed by them because, well, gosh, they're just so cool. I've just described almost every Mary Sue out there. Pretty bland, huh? I mean...they're just like each other. They're not unique.

Here's where it gets more applicable. Mary Sues are also often angsty - look, they have so many problems, don't you feel sorry for them? Aren't they cool? Now, angsting is not wrong, but it can get out of hand. If everyone a Mary Sue loves dies, if they're parents always die, if they are always mistreated (anyone who mistreats him is automatically evil, of course) - it can get old. There's a thing about people - some people are good at empathizing with other people. I'm sure you know a few people like that. But when the person you want someone to empathize with...doesn't exist...it's harder to feel for them, especially if they're like "MY _________ ARE DEAAAAAD!" every other sentence - especially if the rest of their life makes you think "good grief get over it I'd love to have your life."

When it comes to Star Wars fanfic - here's the rule-breaking - a char can go one of several ways. There's Jedi/Sith, or civvie. The Jedi is born, shows his Force ability in an awesome way before being trained, is taken in at an older age so he has reason to angst. The Jedi is the best ever Jedi, better than Yoda by age 30, masters every lightsaber form then creates their own, redeems every dark person he meets, unless he doesn't, in which case he kills them rather handily. He can get away with having a star-crossed romantic relationship that usually ends badly, becomes leader of the Jedi, sometimes leader of a government, lives and insanely long time, and dies heroically if he dies at all. Sith is the same except, well, a Sith. The reason it's called Jedi/Sith is because these chars have a habit of switching between being a Jedi or a Sith whenever their hormones act up.

Then there's civvie - except they're never civillians, they're just non-Jedi/Sith. They're still often Force-sensitive so after this they have a habit of joining one or the other and becoming the best at that, too. But that's later. They're born normally, have something bad happen early in life, and join some major government as a military person, usually a pilot. They rise in ranks faster than you can say lickity-split, and usually own their own super-sized ship by 25 and can trash-talk anyone the author disagrees with and get away with it. If the author thinks there's a problem with the organization, he will start his own from scratch and be able to take on the larger, better-equipped, longer existing organization within 5 years. He will then take over that one, too. By this time, he usually finds out he's Force-sensitive, leading us back to Jedi/Sith.

Ergo, these Mary Sues tend to have a LOT in common and usually end up in the same place. When you can predict how someone's life is going to turn out before you get past paragraph one, what's the point in reading the rest? That's bland.

Also, did you see the breaks in reality while I recited what amounts to most SW fanfic - here or otherwise? I'll start at the beginning. Before a person is trained, they don't show their Force powers in any flashy way. The most anyone ever showed was hunches. That's why when people go hunting for Jedi prospects (such as in the Kevin J. Anderson trilogy) they look - not for people who have been seen Force-pushing stuff around or floating whenever they feel like it - but for people who seem slightly lucky. That's it. "Lucky." And they can only tell that if the person is a betting person or, in some cases, has hunches or fast reflexes. That's it. They don't know how to do anything else because, as per definition - they haven't been trained. Ergo, someone Force-crushing or Force-choking before being trained is nonsensical. This is a bend in reality. It only makes sense in a few cases - when someone knows he's Force-sensitive and studies on his own. And do you know how hard it is to study something highly physical and mental through books? I'll leave that rant for someplace else, but I'm sure you can imagine.

Break 2. Being taken at an older age. This makes sense in post ROTJ fic so I'll only address it for pre-ANH fics. Let me be plain. The Jedi don't take apprentices past the age of threeish. As a rule. There are exceptions. I will mention why they are exceptions. I know what you're thinking. "WHAT ABOUT REVANZZZ?" I'M GETTING THERE HUSH. He was already a Jedi before he was trained later in life and the Jedi knew it. That's why they took him. It was like he took a break in his training and he picked it right back up. He WAS taken as a youngling before. So that doesn't count. "WAHT ABOUT ANAKINZ?" In brief: He was the Chosen One. Longer explanation: At first, even though they knew he probably was the Chosen One, the Jedi weren't going to take him in because he was too old and thus had too much time to harbor baser emotions. They only took him in for three reasons, all of which I will name. One: HE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE. They weren't going to take him in at first because they didn't think there were any Sith for him to have to "balance," then when Maullie showed up, they were like, "oops. Guess we do need him." You will notice that later, they do not question whether Ani is the Chosen One, but whether the Prophecy has been interpreted correctly. Two: Obi-Wan promised he'd train him. Minor, related to point one in that they allowed it at all. Three: HE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE. Your char is not, whoever is reading this. Not unless you're writing AU. So you can't get away with older-than-three taken-ins. End of story.

Your Jedi is not likely to become the best Jedi evarz. There is a chance he can - but he'll be older than 30 for it to make sense, and he won't be as powerful as Yoda. Why? Yoda had 900-stinkin-years to train. Your char does not unless your char is of a long-lived species, but he still won't be as powerful while he is young. There are geniuses and prodigies in the galaxy. I don't deny it, but they are very hard to write well without falling into these traps I've mentioned.

Fourthly. Do you know how hard it is to master ONE saber form? If it was easy, why didn't masters, older masters, in canon, have mastered them all? No, they mastered one. Because it's hard to master more than one. Try taking various swordplay lessons at the same time or in succession and tell me when you've beaten the master in them all. If you ever get good enough to face even ONE. No offense to you or anyone reading this, just saying. It isn't plausible. As for making up a lightsaber form, that is acceptable when developed for one specific purpose, as all the general purposes are taken - but not so as to pwn everyone else. And no Vaapad. Windu made that up and taught Depa, and that was it. No one else knows/knew/will know it.

Next, redeeming/proselytizing people. It's not easy. People get set in their ways, and just talking doesn't often do it unless you're a great orator and you know exactly what to say and you can raise some pretty convincing arguments. Yes, as a whole, people are stupid (fact), but in the singular, though you may come across some gullible people, in general, when people are told they've been living a lie their whole life and you're way is "teh awesomez" they will be...shall we say...incredulous. And people who you're trying to turn from a Jedi/Sith to the other side by just your chars presence...doesn't...make...sense.

In addition, killing people, especially masters, isn't like whistling Dixie. It's not easy. Nor should it be - they DID train, after all. If they didn't and they were some librarian, then it makes sense for you to kill him easy but makes you seem like a jerk for killing a defenseless librarian. So, for sympathy purposes, chars usually fight - and easily win - against masters. That doesn't make sense! Not even Yoda could kill some powerful Sith. Sure, he could pwn a lot of people, but some masters still provided a difficult or even unwinnable. Much less for your 25-year-old "prodigy." At least provide some difficulty - and certainly provide LOSSES. Let me try to say this simply...REAL. PEOPLE. LOSE. A lot. Chuck Norris is exempt for being Chuck Norris.

Romatic relationships for Jeeeeedai. Here's the thing: they don't happen that often. They do happen - people are people are people. But they don't happen to every. stinkin'. Jedi. alive. Especially when it's been drilled into their head that they can't from the cradle. I'll hop off here before the rabbit gets away. But I will catch this one bunny:

TRAAAAAAAgic romantic relationships. Mary Sues often have what is termed "the kiss of Death." That means everyone the Mary Sue loves has a habit of dying. Why? MORE ANGST! There. Now leave the bunnies alone.

Becoming the leader of the Jedi/Sith/Greys/Warriors of Virtue/McDonalds. For one, the Jedi don't have a leader, they have a council. If there IS a leader, it's the Sith, and we know they have a habit of dying. It's a Sith thing, so it wouldn't be desirable. To get on the Jedi council, you have to be a Master, you have to be a good Jedi, and, here's the clincher...you have to be MATURE. They don't let whiny teenagers on the council - dear Ani notwithstanding, he was only in a plot to get to the Chancellor or else he wouldn't have made it. Think about it. It's a COUNCIL. Do you want council from someone who angst constantly and has so many problems he needs a personal secretary to keep track of them all? No! Of course not! That defies the purpose of a council! And most Mary Sues are just that - whiny, angsty, problem-filled. Not someone you'd trust to help you with your problems at all. Therefore, becoming "leader of the Jedi" is out. If someone is mature enough to make it on the council...that still doesn't make him "leader of the Jedi" because...I shall reiterate...THE JEDI DON'T HAVE A LEADER. I end there.

Side note on the above: for leader of the Sith, I shall reiterate again. If it's during the Rule of Two, there's a 50% chance that your char WOULD be "leader of the Sith," but it's not much of title as he's leader over...surprisesurprise...one. whoop-de-doo. Not much of a "LEADAH." For an organization of Sith, that means there'd be a coup every day at teatime to get your position. Yeah. Doesn't sound like fun. And if you kill everyone who tries, you soon run out of Sith to be a LEADAH of. That means you'd have to stop them without killing them and get them to be subservient. And people don't like to be subservient to whiny, angsty teens - more for smart, fairly fair, and wise peeps. I.e. - NOT A MARY SUE.

Living an insanely long time, whether by natural age or by cryostasis or whatnot (which almost ALWAYS comes with eternal youth). Living a long time is fine for long-lived beings, so I won't touch on that, but almost all Mary Sues are Human, which in the SW universe live to about a max of 140-ish or so - i.e. NOT FOREVAR. And they get old. It's a fact of life, deal with it. As for cryostasis (and whatnot), there'd better be a good reason for it other than "I WANT HIM TO LIVE TO THE LEGACY ERA/BEYOND THE LEGACY ERA!" It has to make sense. Why? Because people like it when things make sense. This can be done well, so I won't harp on it too much.

Dying heroically. That's not a problem, it happens. It can be awesome. The thing is when a guy doesn't die at all, which falls into the jurisdiction of the point above. Up there ^^^. That is unless the story is unfinished. In which case it is unfinished.

Switching sides. It has to happen for a reason. People don't switch sides whenever they feel like it. It's a big thing, it has to make sense. And when people switch to a new side, they have stronger convictions for staying there because they chose it over their previous state for those reasons - not switching back the next day. It don't make sense. I will digress because that's pretty much all that needs to be said.

Rising in ranks at the speed of light. It has happened in real life. But then again, so did Chuck Norris and you can't make SW version of him without the galaxy exploding. It takes a long time, a lot of work, and a lot of discipline to do that. Oh, and a lot of submission and obedience. Tip: You don't get promotions for talking back to the General. Just a tip. Not many Mary Sues are like that. For the ones that are, it then makes sense that therefore are not a Mary Sue because of that. But still, people don't become Grand Admiral overnight at age 15. Just sayin'. Why? Well, ask yourself this question. Would you want your military led by an angsty 15-year old? I thought not.

Okay, about always being right and talking back to authority. I've mentioned a bit of that above, but let me illustrate a bit better. You know that one person who always thinks he's right and you can't stand? That's who we associate Mary Sues that always get away with things like that with. YesIendedwithaprepositiongetoverit.

Getting a supership. They don't hand out the things like candy. I'll leave that there and let you extrapolate.

Making your own organization. That's fine. The problem comes in them becoming superpowerful in an absurdly small amount of time. Do you know what happens to rebellions that have only been around 5 years? Think blood and prison bars. Yeah. Why? They haven't had time to become powerful, organized, and equipped. End of storiez.

Finding out that he's Force sensitive after all this leads us back to the point far above me about overage training. So yeah.

There, I've covered the points above, and here I'll mention two other common Mary Sue points: Mixed-breeds and canon chars.

If your char is a mixed-breed, make the mix make sense. A Bothan and a Human cannot successfully make little Humthans, kay? Humans can successfully breed only with near-Humans. There. I've said it.

Canon chars - i.e., having your char meet a canon person. This in itself is not bad, it's when it asserts that chars place in canon and/or makes that char fall in love with them against their previously established personality and/or kills them for kicks and giggles just to prove your char is awesome enough to do it. All of these points are referenced above. The exception is AU, which, of course, you can change canon and canon char's personalities, but you still have to do it well to be accepted.

/rant.

Note that this rant is not directed at any one person but is to be a guideline for anyone reading this who has trouble with making Mary Sues or has had "Mary Sue" listed as a problem with their work. This is a general rant. So don't take offense, plz? For Mary Sue tests, I direct thee here.



And then John was a zombie.

-Solus (Bird of Prey) 18:45, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Account question Edit

Hey LDR, I asked Darth Gheis this question the other day but he hasn't replied to me. I noticed that you two have the same IP address. Are you two the same person or is there another reason for this? - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 18:01, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

RE: On Mary Sues Edit

You're welcome.



P.S. If you read that and didn't find anything applicable to Transie, then I'm afraid you didn't read it at all. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:50, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, lemme try and be more clear and specific. I'll start with your list. I am pointing out flaws in a work to help you correct them, so I have to prove they are actually flaws. This means I have to be harsh. I didn't want to have to do something specifically pointing at you and Transie, but since you asked the way you did and replied the way you did, I have no choice.
  1. So you don't think your char is cool, then. Okay, that's acceptable. So...he lost only to Nihilus and Sion - two people he couldn't kill without defying canon. But everyone else? Let's do a body count, shall we? While we're at it, I might keep an implausibility meter - 1 for acceptable and 5 for outrageous. P.S., I only ever use 1 and 5.
    Five dark-sided Royal Guards at once, with help from his Master who killed...none of them. And who was knocked out and had to be revived by Transie while he fought off the five single-handedly. 5.
    Ies Darrum, randomly and without precedent. Why did he kill him? Why then? Just so he could do something eeeeeeeevil and fall to the dark side. I will give this two grades, one for motive and opportunity, the other for the plausibility of the kill. Motive: 5. Kill: 1.
    Half the students he beckoned to his little Academy of Love "from their insolence." However, whether he killed them or someone else is not clear, but I assume he did. But since I have no proof, I won't rate this on the implausibility meter.
    Revan (in that he had a lot to do with it). The only reason this was included was so that the char could be in the event, so he could "be in the KoTOR game!" and help in "killing" Revan. While these are, no doubt, the only reasons this was in there, I will go further. I will examine your own writing in the process.
    Darth Malak thought that Revan has grown weak, so he had a meeting with Darth Transel. Transel agreed with the whole plan and assured Malak that everything will go as planned. When the strike team boarded Revan's vessel, Transel informed Malak that it was time, and Malak ordered his ship to fire at Revan's bridge.
    Lookit, thar it is. At first I thought Transel would have been the one firing the lasers, but he didn't. Okay. So...why would Malak need Transel to tell him? Why couldn't he figure it out himself? Why did they have to wait for the strike team - why did they not fire earlier? Why was the strike team the signal? WHY? I shall tell you. The author wanted it so. Logic be hanged. 5.
    Darth Bandon. Transie decided to randomly betray him. As that's what Sith do, that fact is acceptable. During the fight, let's see what happened: Transie threw him through a few "windows." Okay. Let's see how plausible that is. So, you make this flagship, see? And you have windows on it, see? Windows that protect you from vacuum and hold tons of pressure in the vessel to keep them from escaping, right? And...they're made out of thin sheets like the kind you and I know? Huh? Dude. "Windows" on ships aren't made of glass, they're made out of transparisteel, which is exactly what it sounds like - transparent steel. Not even the overpowered Marek could throw anyone through steel. But I shall go on. As you have stated, Bandon was old, so though he is powerful, it is plausible for him to be killed by Transie. There is that tiny, itty bitty, sniggly little fact that, I dunno, the amnesiac Revan killed Bandon...but as this is fic and it kinda gives a "you only THOUGHT he was dead" kinda-reason I will let it pass. I will give this two grades, one for method, the other for the plausibility of the kill. Method: 5. Kill: 1.
    So, what have we got? Someone who is overpowered and killed a lot of people rather handily. Yes, he did lose to Nihilus and Sion, but knowing Nihilus and Sion I doubt they would have just let him live, especially for backtalking them. Yet he seemed just fine. They knew the author put a shield of COOL around him, so they didn't even try for the killing blow. Now on to number 2.
  2. I shall quote. "It didn't take a short time for him to master the Jar'Kai form. It says he eventually mastered it. It took him months, maybe a year to master it." So...it only takes "months, maybe a year" to master a sword form. Yes, I see. Listen to that again. So...if you took Judo for a year, you'd be a black belt. Of course. That makes perfect sense. So why don't I take it? Why don't I also take up fencing? I could be a match for a master within a year! Oh..wait...I forgot. Reality doesn't work like that. Silly me. Hear me out...it...takes...YEARS to master something like that! This isn't a video game where you can be level 100 in a week/couple weeks and you can learn a form by finding a master and getting one lesson. It's very HARD. However, I will give you that he only learned one form. Usually Mary Sues learn several, so I give you a point for sticking to one, but still a lot are taken off for the amount of work he had to put into the thing to master it. On to point 3.
  3. I use your own words. "He fell to the dark side before he joined the Jedi." Then why did the Jedi take him? They know when someone's dark-sided, they aren't stupid. "By joining the Exchange, he became ruthless and evil." All, right, fine. Ah, quick question, what pseudo-mafia force takes in 13-year-olds? Just asking. "When he used anger on Aquen, he decided that because he did that, he couldn't be with the Jedi, and betrayed them." Wait, wait. So you're telling me that's why? That's the reason? He uses anger once' after years of apparently not using any anger (or else he would have turned earlier) and figures he can't stay with the Jedi? Man, if he wasn't angry or did something in anger for that long, he's a stinkin' saint! Why would he turn then? Someone that pure and innocent would have asked for forgiveness, not up and killed everyone.
  4. "When he met with Lord Malak, (in canon: it barely lists anything on what happened in the Sith Empire, and when Revan got 'killed', it only showed that from Revan's point of view, as it showed nothing on Malak's Flagship)." First of all, that's a fragment, but I'm not here for grammar. I already addressed this Malak point above.
  5. "He didn't rise through the ranks. He became a Sith Master from (1: Being the first headmaster of the academy, 2: Being a close friend of Revan, which is how Malak was Revan's apprentice)." Okay, he didn't rise through the ranks, he was just promoted suddenly to Master instead...wait, what? That's self-contradictory - he did rise through the ranks quickly! You just said so! He was promoted up them, skipping the whole process. That's called "rising through ranks" where I come from. I'll get to the separate points later when I address those kinds of things specifically.
  6. Addressed above.
  7. That's fine. I only said Sues "usually" die heroically. To your credit, his death is not overplayed.
  8. "When he built the academy using the Force, it took months, and it put a constant strain on his arms, causing him to take rests and breaks." ...........Uh-huh. I don't know where to begin. So...this dude takes a bunch of rocks and stacks them with the Force. Okay, rock-stacking is okay...AND HE BUILDS AN ACADEMY OUT OF THEM? Okay, lemme try to take this apart one by one. Do you live in a place around a lot of misshapen rocks? Do you know something about misshapen rocks? They're misshapen. Do you know what that means? They're shaped randomly with little bumps and stuff and come in all different shapes. In The Empire Strikes Back we see what happens to misshapen rocks stacked by the Force the moment the Force-user stops focusing on keeping them in place...they fall down. Try taking a bunch of rocks and making even a simple, rudimentary dollhouse-sized building out of them. Go on. I'll wait. Couldn't do it, could you? Do you know why? Three reasons. 1) They don't fit together. 2) They don't stick together. 3) Gravity works. If you'd have used some kind of mortar, it would have added plausibility points, but Transie didn't, and he couldn't. There's NOTHING on Korriban, and it's a desert. You can't even make some kind of clay, not without water. And there's no water around the Sith Academy. He's all alone, he did nothing about this. And you tell me he built an academy that actually stayed up and withheld against desert storms and stuff...without Transie being trained as an architect in any way, shape, or form. There's a reason that architects have to train and study for a long time before they build something - so it doesn't fall down. So yeah, it does logically make sense that Transie wouldn't know about mortar and the whole thing would collapse. Oh, wait...Well, okay, now that we've pointed out what's wrong with that part, let's move on. So he makes a crude, rock-made academy, made just for training and maybe for shelter....WHAT? It's the same academy from KoTOR?!? That gorgeous, intricate building? Transie isn't an artist! He didn't have anything to carve with! He's not an artisan! If he hired artisans to do that part for him, why didn't he just hire architects? That building is intricate! He's not an architect! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Oh, this reminds me, I should add an amendment to my Mary Sue rant on overpowered and nonsensical use of Force powers. Thank you for reminding me.
There, that takes care of your list. Now let's delve into the things you oh-so-conveniently left off the list, shall we? I shall go in order of my rant and thus quote myself.
"The Jedi is born, shows his Force ability in an awesome way before being trained." Check.
"[...]is taken in at an older age so he has reason to angst." Check
"[...] becomes leader of the Jedi, sometimes leader of a government..." In this case leader of an organization of Sithies. A twofer. Check.
"[...] these chars have a habit of switching between being a Jedi or a Sith whenever their hormones act up." Check. He's so saintly when he shows anger once after years he decides to go all Freddy on everyone.
"They rise in ranks faster than you can say lickity-split, [...] and can trash-talk anyone the author disagrees with and get away with it." Check and check.
"If the author thinks there's a problem with the organization, he will start his own from scratch and be able to take on the larger, better-equipped, longer existing organization within 5 years." Check and part-check. He doesn't decide to fight the Sith - instead they come and decide he should be their leader and trainer at an academy though he's young, inexperienced, and has no contacts. His organization is so cool they don't even bother to fight and surrender to his awesome without a fight. He "beckoned" them with the Force. Transie makes it sound so easy. Why didn't the Sith just do that to everyone in the first place? Oh, wait...because you can't! You have to go and find prospectives and convince them to join/force them/mind-control them yourself unless they hear of you and decide they want to, but he's on a little backwater world he can't be bothered to get off of, so that's out.
Overpowered? - check.
Buddy-buddies with canon chars even though it doesn't make sense? - check.
Mastah of nonexistant and/or nonsensical uses of Force powers? - check.
Almost never loses? - check.
I know this reply is long, but it had to be. Transel is a Mary Sue - Mary Sues bend reality. I've done my best to show you were all the bends are, and there are a lot of them. I've pointed them out to you. If you want Transie to be better, you have to straighten them. I'm not going to tell you exactly how because you can do it yourself, and, frankly, I don't want to spend any more time on it. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 19:20, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Help Edit

Greetings fellow Fanon user i have seen that you have fixed my The Final Blow article. can you please help me with my Duel in the Temple article, as it has been tagged for clean up Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 16:30, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 16:40, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much you are a legend Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 17:05, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ok after i have writen my new Article i will ask you to check it for me. Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 17:50, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Re: main page Edit

No. Happy birthday, though! :) - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 17:14, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

New Article Edit

Hello Lord Death Ray could you please read through my new Article and check it for any Grammer or Manual Style falts. Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 18:38, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Ok i will let you know and also thank you LDR. Mal-Man Double Bladed Lightsaber Smiley Blue (communicate) 19:51, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

RE: adminship Edit

See Star Wars Fanon:Requests for adminship. You have to be elected in order to be an administrator. --Michaeldsuarez (Talk) (Deeds) 22:38, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

  • Per Michael. Also, I see that you created a few categories. Just remember that categories need to be categorized too. Thanks! - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 23:06, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

SnieEdit

Real thanks!! I'll let you know when i'm finished. Master snie

AdminshipEdit

Hey, man, just sending a long a friendly message here concerning your attempt to become an admin. As I mentioned in my vote against you, I don't think you have enough experience, but please don't take this negatively. I didn't become an admin the first time I tried out either, so it's something I can identify with. Just keep up with all the good work and faithful service to those who need it here and in time you will be a valid choice to be voted an admin. Don't lose hope just yet. NKsig Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles Sabersmilygreend 02:17, February 18, 2010 (UTC)

TJMEdit

Hey LDR. Since it seems you're planning on making articles about the characters in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: The Jedi Masters, I'd really strongly suggest just doing it on Star Wars Fanpedia. There's really a difference between user-created fanon here on Star Wars Fanon and actually documenting something from someone else's fan works, which is what Star Wars Fanpedia is for.

This isn't a shameless attempt for more articles on Fanpedia or anything, but rather just a clarification as to what the purpose of Star Wars Fanon really is: documenting one's own fanon as opposed to other people's. Besides, even if Fanpedia is still in the growing stages, the articles would get more recognition over there. Fanpedia has an unofficial working relationship with Wookieepedia, so it's taken a bit more seriously than SWF is. =) - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 21:19, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Signature Edit

Hey LDR. I just wanted to let you know that if you intended to use File:LordDeathRay.gif as your signature, we don't actually allow animated files in signatures, per the signature guidelines. Sorry. - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 21:59, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

Drewton Edit

I am sorry to say that Drewton is pretty much inactive here now. He may be at the Star Wars Photonovel wikia, or I suggest trying other users familiar with his situation for his whereabouts.-I'm the Chosen OneSo the Prophecy says... 06:03, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

  • After some careful searching, it appears Drewton is inactive everywhere, he has not made a real edit, that I can tell, since March of this year.-I'm the Chosen OneSo the Prophecy says... 06:07, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Good to hear.-I'm the Chosen OneSo the Prophecy says... 06:28, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Transel Edit

Well, I hope it all goes well, that's a big thing to undertake. I know it seems like I'm a bit of a jerk sometimes when I review FANs, and I really hope I'm not. I just want the articles I review to be the best they can be, I'm kindof a perfectionist like that, so I hope all goes well. :) -Solus Talk to the Hand 21:11, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Vandal Edit

Already aware of it, but thanks for pointing it out. :) - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 00:58, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

Darth Gheis Edit

Hi LDR. According to a CheckUser search, you and Darth Gheis are currently using the same IP address. Given that Darth Gheis hasn't edited in seven months and now he's voting for your QOTW nomination, this looks suspicious. Can you explain please? Thanks. - Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird (talk) 17:14, July 11, 2011 (UTC)

Darth Gheis took a vacation to Europe, mainly Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. And after he came back, he got grounded for something stupid. LordDeathRay (Talk) 17:29, July 11, 2011 (UTC)

Special invitation for LordDeathRay!Edit

Hey, you! Yes, you!

YodaClaus-SWAJ8

You're cordially invited to the 7th Annual Wiki Awards on the Star Wars Fanon Wiki! Come nominate, procrastinate, marinate, and pontificate over the best and brightest of the community's offerings with us! Sample the choicest works with your critical eye (monocle sold separately) and submit your own works for a chance to be enshrined in the annals of Star Wars Fanon history. You might write whatever you want to because it's fun, but getting shiny awards and bragging rights doesn't hurt either, right? We didn't think so.

Don't force yourself into exile, or look for alternative activities this winter. Whether your work is one of the myriad incarnations of Revan, a Sith Lord with a hard-to-pronounce name, or some random teenager's pet pittin, you'll find an entry where it belongs. (Editor's note: "Best Incarnation of Revan" and "Best Hard-To-Pronounce-Sith" did not make the categories list this year.) It's time to break out the ancient Sith armor and capes, the dress uniforms for every soldier, and something to catch the eye for every pretty lass. And did I mention our sponsors include Sarth's Darths, provider of the finest black capes in the galaxy? Join our star-crossed, er…star-studded collection of Star Wars Fanon administrators including Brandon Rhea, Goodwood, and Trak Nar as we celebrate the individualism and creativity on this wiki. And if you thought this announcement was cheesy, you ain't seen nothing yet. (Consider this a warning to those, like Fiolli, who are lactose intolerant.)

So fire up the hyperdrive, hope it doesn't catapult you a few millennia forwards or backwards in time, and head on over to the Seventh Wiki Awards. We'd love for you to nominate deserving works (including yours!) and help us choose the best entries for this year! We can't pick between all the entries without you! And if you see any other special snowflakes who need invited to the extravaganza, just slap this message on their talk page to spread some holiday cheer… or something.

So from two folks who've contributed far more at Wookieepedia than here, who habitually bring you either terrible puns or delicious pasta, please accept our sincerest invitation to the Seventh Wiki Awards. And remember, we're doing this all for the community, because that's what really matters on this wiki. Right? Yeah…

Atarumaster88, 7WA cohost, general procrastinator, occasional writer, and constant instigator
Fiolli, 7WA cohost, professor, silent contributor, and master of several fine culinary arts

Re: A Four-Year-Old Dilemma Edit

Yeah, you can upload images again. The only issue with the one you just uploaded is that you listed yourself as the author. If you took the screenshot that doesn't make you the author, just the person who took the screenshot. - Brandon Rhea@Wikia(talk) 18:09, July 23, 2012 (UTC)

Eighth Wiki AwardsEdit

Hello! You're receiving this message because you were an editor here on Star Wars Fanon in 2012. Did you know that we're currently holding our eighth annual Star Wars Fanon Wiki Awards? In the wiki awards, you can nominate your favorite articles—written by you or another user—for any of the categories on the page. If you're interested in bragging rights, head on over to the Eighth Wiki Awards and nominate your favorite articles through January 31st. If you have any questions, feel free to contact the award hosts, Brandon Rhea and Trak Nar. We look forward to seeing your nominees!

Brandon Rhea@Wikia(talk)

Trak Nar Ramble on

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