Star Wars Fanon

The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 32 script

< The Fanon Menace | Season 2

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-Luke tells Leia she’s his sister and leaves

<Luke> Leia, can I talk to you for a minute?

<Leia> Sure. What’s wrong?

<Luke> Well...

<Leia> *interrupting* You’re madly in love with a woman, and need sisterly advice on how to tell her?

<Luke> No, actually, it’s...

<Leia> You’re going to leave the Jedi Order? How could you? Is it because you left a girl on Tatooine?

<Luke> Would you just let me finish? I’m...

<Leia> You’re joining the Empire, aren’t you. It’s because of their E-11 blaster rifles...or better yet, it’s because of a certain female officer you met on the Death Star.

<Luke> Leia!

<Leia> What?

<Luke> Just...listen. I’m...

<Leia> Going to...sorry, I’m just trying to make up for 18 years of not being your sister.

<Luke> That’s just it. I have to tell you that I’m your brother.

<Leia> Yeah, we established that back on the first Death Star.

<Luke> Yes, we did, but I just felt like you needed to hear it here.

<Leia> Wait, if you’re my brother...that means...Darth Vader is your father.

<Luke> My father? That’s not true! That’s impossible!

<Leia> Well, if you’re related to me, and I’m related to him...yeah, you’re definitely related to him.

<Luke> No...maybe...Mom got remarried and I’m not related to him.

<Leia> We’re twins.

<Luke> I...I’m disowning him! I’m disowning the Skywalker name! I’m now becoming...a Groundcrawler!

<Leia> Isn’t that kind of a demotion from Skywalker?

<Luke> Fine, then, I’ll be Luke Spaceflier.

<Leia> Ok. Wait, if you’re disowning the Skywalkers, then you’re disowning me, too!

<Luke> I can’t do that. You’re my sister!

<Leia> And Darth Vader’s your father.

<Luke> I know, you can become a Spaceflier, too! Leia Organa’s got a nice ring to it.

<Leia> But what about Mom?

<Luke> Mom?

<Leia> Yes, Mom. You know, Mother? The one who gave birth to us? She retired from the Senate and has a summer home on Naboo that she lives in all year round. Every so often, she would come to Alderaan to see me.

<Luke> Fine...I’ll stay a Skywalker. But I’m leaving.

<Leia> Why? We need you here!

<Luke> That’s the other thing that I needed to tell you...I have to fight Darth Vader...I mean, Dad. Whoa, so that vision on Dagobah was right? That’s weird.

<Leia> Why?

<Luke> Because I need to.

<Leia> Why?

<Luke> Because that’s what I have to do.

<Leia> Why?

<Luke> Because I was told to.

<Leia> Why?

<Luke> Because...I’m leaving. Goodbye.

<Leia> Why?

*Luke leaves*

<Leia> But...I really don’t know why.

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