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The Fanon Menace/Season 1/Episode 12 script

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< The Fanon Menace | Season 1

Tatooine
-Ani and Padmé meet Watto

*Ani and Padmé walk up to Watto’s shop*

<Anakin>Watto?

<Watto>What can I do for you?

<Anakin>I’m looking for a man by the name of Cliegg Lars.

<Watto>Cliegg? Oh, Cliegg! Right, I sold him some equipment for his moisture vaporators and ended up getting a good deal for your mother, too.

<Anakin>You sold my mother?

<Watto>I probably shouldn’t have told you that that way, but…anyway, want some pit droids to ease the pain? For you, half price.

<Anakin>No! I want to know where Cliegg is! What would I do with pit droids, anyway?

<Watto>Good point. Now, about Lars...

<Padmé>You know, we could use some pit droids in the lake country to help around the house. At half price, it’s quite a deal.

<Anakin>Padmé, let’s stay on subject here. Remember the email?

<Padmé>Right.

<Watto>Ani, are you talking to yourself?

<Anakin>No. Now what about Cliegg?

<Watto>Are you sure about those pit droids? You don’t have a lakeside home somewhere in need of a little extra staff?

<Padmé>How did he know?

<Anakin>Watto!

<Watto>Ok.

<K1>Darth Bane! Oh, wait, wrong planet. Sorry, my bad.

<Anakin>Where is Cliegg?

<K1>How should I know?

<Ani>Not you, Watto.

<Watto>Yes?

<Anakin>Where is Cliegg?

<Watto>I dunno.

<Anakin>Could you find out for me?

<Watto>Hold on a sec.

*Watto leaves*

*Watto returns, holding a blank datapad*

<Anakin>Uh, Watto, the datapad is blank.

<Watto>I know, I just remembered on my own. I found the datapad lying on the ground. I’ll sell it to you for 150 credits.

<Anakin>If I buy it from you, will you stop trying to sell me stuff and just tell me where I can find Cliegg?

<Watto>Sorry. I’ll attempt to restrain my instincts. Anyway, Cliegg is on the other side of Mos Eisley, in a small homestead. I heard he married your mother, and freed her! Actually, I was at the wedding. It was quite nice, really. You should have been there, Ani. You mother looked so...

<Anakin>Watto! Wait, why were you there?

<Watto>I was the caterer. I’m always trying to sell something, you know.

<Anakin>Ok. So wait…on the other side of Mos Eisley. Does that mean I can take the I-395 East straight to the Dune Sea, hang a right, and take the Krayt Dragon Express north and reach Mos Eisley?

<Watto>No, you have should take the I-401 north. It bypasses Mos Eisley and the Tusken Camp, which is always congested with stampeding rontos. The I-401 will take you right past the homestead.

<Anakin>Ok, thanks.

<Watto>Watch the Jawas, though. They’d steal the speeder right from under you.

<Anakin>Thanks for the tip.

<Watto>Wait, how will you get there?

<Anakin>Right. We don’t have a speeder.

<Watto>I have one right here! In prime condition, I might add.

<Anakin>Isn’t that the speeder Jar Jar broke?

<Watto>Unfortunately...yes. I haven’t been able to sell it yet...

<Anakin>Then we’ll take it.

<Watto>You can’t have it. It wasn’t a fair bet.

<Anakin>What bet?

<Watto>Good point. 20,000 Republic Ditares.

<Anakin>I’ll give you five.

<Watto>Five thousand? Done!

<Anakin>No, five credits. I left my wallet in my other robe.

<Watto>And the mute queen doesn’t have any money?

<Anakin>She’s not mute, and being queen isn’t a high-paying job, you know.

<Watto>Five? You can’t even buy your own starship for that…but it’ll do.

<Anakin>How about 1,000?

<Watto>1,000 credits? Done!

<Anakin>Can I borrow 995 credits?

<Watto>Sure.

*Ani takes money*

*Ani hands money back along with 5 credits*

<Anakin>Here you go.

<Watto>Pleasure doing business with you.

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