Star Wars Fanon:FW/Heritage

[edit] Heritage

[edit] Featured work nomination

Nominated by: Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 22:10, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Nomination comments: One of the better fanfics I've read. I was waiting for the author to get back to me, but since she hasn't after a few days, I went ahead and nominated it just to get things rolling.

[edit] Excerpt

Eyes snapped open to darkness, breath echoing in ragged gasps through the tiny enclosure. Beads of sweat rose on her forehead, her eyes still roving in vain for any light, any visibility. There was nothing. A moan of internal and external pain choked her, and she hugged herself tightly in the cold and obscurity. Even that simple movement caused her wrists to brush the surface hovering above her face, the scraping noise like an explosion in the silence of the dead.

For the first minute, perhaps, Padmé thought she would go mad. Her mind was still cloudy and unsure, and for the life of her she couldn't gather the unraveled threads that had woven her plan. She knew there had been a plan, but what was it?

Panic and claustrophobia seeped through the blindness into her brain and in a moment of terror all she could do was scream and bang on the narrow space that was her tomb. “Anakin!” she screeched, small fists thrashing on all sides of her prison until her knuckles were raw and bloody, and her feet and knees bruised.

“Anakin. Anakin. Anakin. Anakin...” It became her chant, a tie to her life and the person she had been and would never be again. Like a drum roll she repeated his name over and over again in a monotonous voice, tears streaking her face and her hands beating on the layers of stone in rhythm with her cries for a man who was dead.

She stopped abruptly, poised for another strike. Slowly she pressed her weeping fingers to the surface above her, feeling the cold, moist stone. “What? Anakin?” she waited, ears pricked for a response. None came.

[edit] Support (3 Archivists/5 Users/8 total)

1. Getting this show on the road to get it FW status. Here's my review: "The rule with a good Alternate Universe story is not to change just one thing but several and this has been achieved masterfully in Heritage. The introduction of Padmé Amidala into what I take to be the NJO era is but one of the changes done here. There's Jaina/Jag which I have always been a fan of, there's Jacen as he appeared in the YJK novels, far removed from Caedus. The original characters were very well done, watching Cale slowly descend into madness with Zeya helplessly watching him was intriguing. But what particularly touched me in this story was the very personal tragedy between Han and Leia. I won't let on what it is as it will spoil the story, but it was heartrending to watch Leia react as she did to what happened to her and then rise above it, with the help of Han, Luke and Padmé." It's a little long, but it says what I felt about the story. -Katana Geldar 10:00, 18 November 2008 (UTC)
2. This was a very well done Alternate Universe story, which not only changed the scope of the NJO era but brought Padme nicely into that time in a way that didn't seem far fetched. The original characters held their own quite nicely and the canon characters were well characterized. --Kathkira ^talk 19:13, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
3. I'm afraid I don't have a gushing review for this, though it was very well done.-- CurrentBigThing (Speak) 16:29, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
4. Brandon Rhea ^{(talk) (contribs)} 17:26, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
5. -- Joe Butler (Obi Maul12) ^(Chow) 17:33, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
6. Aye. --Michaeldsuarez ^{(Talk) (Deeds)} 17:38, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
7. Wow, okay. Auto-watch didn't watch this page, so I completely missed all this. Right, this is my vote. Now to look at FE. Vagrant Lustoid ^(Talk) 00:17, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
8. Brilliant novel. -- ^{(talk) (contributions)} 07:28, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Objections

[edit] Comments

• I did not copyedit this work, and since the work is not mine, it is at the discretion of the author to change the excerpt or remove the nomination entirely, should she choose to do so. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 22:10, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
• One thing first before I get into reading it is that you need the "é" in Padmé in both the excerpt and the actual story. Katana Geldar 23:40, 24 October 2008 (UTC)\
  • Adjusted the excerpt; I'm still hoping the author will get back to me; perhaps a note on TF.N might be good; I think they're from there. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:17, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
• Wow, this is great. -- Joe Butler (Obi Maul12) ^(Chow) 02:03, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
• I'll say one thing. The excerpt looks very promising. Can't wait to get into reading this when I get a more reasonable access. Probably later tomorrow. Vagrant Lustoid ^(Talk) 06:51, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

• Started reading it is, it is quite good though "Karrde" is misspelled in chapter 3 I believe. Also, one thing that would be nice would be easy navigation from chapter to chapter, links forward and back. Katana Geldar 12:23, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Per SWF's editing policy, I would recommend that FWRB members Archivists feel free to make small corrections like that themselves; it's much faster than posting on the forum for a few spelling errors. ;-) I've fixed the Kardde mispelling and the Padmé's in the prologue, as it were. As far as the navigation is concerned, we have the technology, but I'm loathe to apply it without the author's permission. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:21, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Any word from the author, Ataru? Read the story and though it was quite a good piece of AU. In my book, good AU just doesn't change one major thing but several. I would have to say the Leia scenes were my favourite, as much as I liked seeing Luke with Padmé. However, before I vote to support this it needs a bit of fixing up and for that we need the author! Katana Geldar 10:05, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
      • I've not heard back from Aurrasingrules, and a quick check of her (?) contributions shows that they've not been back since August. If it's small edits like spelling or missing words, I recommend you go ahead and make them yourself. Larger edits, of course, would have to be dealt with by the author. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 00:06, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
        • I'll go through and fix the "Padmé" ones, but the only change that I would like is a little more structural, being able to easily navigate from page to page.

Incidentialy, we are finding out A LOT of things we can later put as guidelines for submission. Katana Geldar 08:20, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

• If you like, I can add {{ChapterNav}} to the story, or some modification thereof. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:57, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

  That looks good, but it has about 20 chapters. Katana Geldar 05:52, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

  • A simple three field modification can be done on it so that it only links to the main page, the previous chapter, and the next chapter. I'll try and do that this weekend. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:03, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

I just modified Template:ChapterNav so you can have the opinion of using less than 10 parts. If I somehow messed up the template, please tell me. --Michaeldsuarez ^{(Talk) (Deeds)} 17:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

• I've started to apply it to the story. Feel free to add them in; I'm only using a 3-field version. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 22:25, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Why only 10 parts? What if someone has more? -- Joe Butler (Obi Maul12) ^(Chow) 23:25, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

• It's an easy modification to make, should someone choose to do so. I only use ten in my longest work, which is why I made it ten. If someone wants to stretch it to cover all 40-something chapters of Heritage, that's fine with me. I've just been using a 3-field for that one (prev - current - next chapter), as I find that simpler and less cluttering to the page. For the purposes of this nomination, I don't care how it's done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 00:23, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

• To satisfy my own mind I'm going to do ONE of those with EVERYTHING on it as well as a show/hide option on the box as it looks as if it's going to be bloody big. And just as a side issue, once we're done with the specifics I'd like to review the story itself in more detail and perhaps those reviews can be used some how in Archive entries. Katana Geldar 09:53, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

• • It's not working out that way so I'll post chapter links ten at a time. Katana Geldar 10:10, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

• All right, I fized up Padmé and the navigation. Is there anything else that needs doing? I don't think so but I'd like to hear from the rest of you. --Katana Geldar 08:56, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

• Well, since you've gotten the ball rolling on what was pretty much my only main complaint, nothing occurs to me that jumps out as needing to be looked at. The story itself is very good, and people have been making linguistic corrections as part of the FW process, so it seems okay to me at the moment. Vagrant Lustoid ^(Talk) 22:44, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

*subtle nudge and mental influence towards the "vote" section* :-P Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 00:54, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

• I just finished reading tonight. I will post my review/vote as soon as I get home from work tomorrow. Great work on the navigation by the way. --Kathkira ^talk 07:41, 19 November 2008 (UTC)